Homecoming

A lot of my friends have asked me when I will be coming back. So, I decided to have this post specifically to answer some of the question on my homecoming. Today, I will have my good listener Jokaar, who will conduct a series of question about my life in Atlantis(UK) and my homecoming. Although I am preferred to be called as Joey or Joe, I will use Vincent as my common name. While Jokaar wanted to take my name Joe. So, let’s begin.

JOE: Hi, I am Joe.

VINCENT: Hi Joe, I am Vincent.

JOE: I presume you know what this interview about.

VINCENT: Yea ;). I will try to answer your question as detail as possible.

JOE: Hehe, thankz. I believe a lot of your fans in Malaysia are eager to know when you will be coming back. So, when?

VINCENT: Hmm, I think I couldn’t answer this question. This is because I don’t have specific answer for that.

JOE: It is easy, when your visa gonna be expired?

VINCENT: Well, it will be 31st of May 2006.

JOE: Then you should be back before May. Else you gonna be an illegal immigrant in UK.

VINCENT: Hahaha, well I…

JOE: Wait. I think you should briefly tell when you arrived in UK and how was it?

VINCENT: Well, I arrived in Newcastle on 23rd of Jan 2005. I took BSc(Honours) Applied Computing in Northumbria University. Actually, the course will be ended by September 2006. It will be just like 9 month course. But when I arrived, they have 2 option, either you take the fast-track 9 month course which skipped summer holiday, or normal 12 month course which include summer holiday.

JOE: What was your decision?

VINCENT: At first, decided to finish quick. Because I have to renew my visa, and maybe some other matters I need to do. But later on, I decided to take the normal course. Since I can have holiday in between. Furthermore, I no need to rush things.

JOE: I see. By now, you should have been in UK for around 1 year right? Don’t you wanna come back? Don’t you miss Malaysia? Or maybe you dun missed Malaysia, but what about your family? Your heng taiz? Your friends?

VINCENT: Wah, so many Q, how I answer wor.

JOE: Apologies. Haha, well back to the Q. Your visa expired on 31st of May 2006. Why not coming back b4 May?

VINCENT: Well, I wanted to attend my graduation ceremony on July. I forgotten the date but it is on July. I think I will be going to Europe, maybe France for a few days before May. Then I will fly back to UK. By this, they will give me a visitor visa which last for 6 month. So, I can stay in UK for 6 month extra.

JOE: So, will you be coming back after your ceremony on July?

VINCENT: Ermm…I am not sure.

JOE: What you mean you are not sure. Your visa expires on May. Your visitor visa cannot be use to work part time. What you gonna do after that?

VINCENT: Here comes the real problem. I really don’t know. My homecoming is planned by my father, not me. Although people will say I just follow what my father said, but he funded me. I can’t just disobey him. He got a plan for me.

JOE: Huh? What plan?

VINCENT: Well, I can’t expose the plan yet. The reason is I don’t want to disappoint myself and other. Well, hard to say but I will tell you the plan when time comes.

JOE: (Sweat)…Then at least, can speculate when you will be stepping on the soil of Malaysia?

VINCENT: Well, actually I have the speculation. It will be on December 2006. Around Christmas.

JOE: You not kidding right…Christmas…I just asked you to speculate, you also no need to say until December gua, during that time, you also have been forgotten.

VINCENT: Well, I can tell you this speculation is quite accurate. This year Christmas you might be able to see me walking on the soil of Malaysia. But who knows? I might come back before December or maybe I am hiding in Malaysia right now? Haha. Well, this is all speculation. I really hope I can be back sooner. I miss my family and friends in Malaysia. I also have to fulfill some promises I made to my friends in Malaysia. I hope I can be back sooner.

JOE: Well, I think I have nothing to ask liao. Thankz Vincent, hope can see you in Malaysia soon.

VINCENT: Thankz Joe.

I hope this interview session will answer some of those questions in your mind. Thankz for reading :p.

Tuesday 21st March 2K6

Well, the part 2 of this story has to be on hold. The producer has decided that the story is not in E(Everyone) rating. It is something like A(Adult) rating. So, I am forced to cut the story abit short and change some content. Some scene will be deleted for E purpose :p. Haha, nah, the producer is actually me. I think this story is abit ridiculous, I decide not to post the entire detail, but I still have to conclude it. So I think I will delete some scene and rewrite some scene and make it a new imaginative story rather than my dream story.

Nothing much on Tuesday actually. Just a boring day. By the way, alof of my friend asked me when I will be back from Atlantis. I really dunno. I think I post one topic on “Homecoming” where it tells when I will be back. Stay tuned.

A Weird Dream of Survival Part 1

This is a dream of mine happen a few days ago. Well, even thought this is a dream, I can't believe I will do such thing. Although in real life I won’t do it, but I disbelieve what happen. Read the story for detail.

The dream begin where me and several other people is standing at the edge of a building. Below is a river. We were at 10 meter height from the river. The other was one of my McD managers Gary. He was fooling around by pretending he gonna fall from the edge several times. Before that, 2 other which I have forgotten who they were already fell to the river. I was holding a pillar. There wasn’t any sufficient space for anyone to comfortable stand on. Still Gary is fooling around. He got the key for us to enter back to the building. He must not drop it. Else we gonna be going nowhere.

Gary slipped and almost fell. Me and Carly quickly hold his hand preventing him from falling down to the river. She is one of the crewmembers in McD. Still, the grip wasn’t strong enough and he fell. Carly was quick enough to get the key from Gary hand before he fell into the river. Then I dunno where she pulled up a half naked girl corpse. I thought it was Gary hand when she pulls it up.

Somehow we all got into the building. I and some other girl went into the casino. But I forgot who those girls were. I walked around. I saw Lieutenant Aiden Ford. He is one of the characters in Stargate: Atlantis sci-fi series. I also dunno why he is in there. He was wearing full military equipment. He is only armed with a handgun which is in his holster. Somehow, 2 armed guys in military clothes came in. They held Aiden as captive. I also dunno why that is. I went there and took Aiden sidearm and shoot the 2 guys in the head. Each one gets a shot. They die instantly. By the way, that was a SigPro 228 Handgun.

The hell breaks loose after this. A lot of armed guys with military clothing came in from the front entrance and start shooting at us. I grab the gun from the dead guy and start to counter. It was a H&K G36 Rifle. I open fire at them while taking cover. Aiden stand beside the entrance and start shooting as well. Suddenly, there was some other also helping me to shoot the military guys.

The gun fight lasted a while. Then, we manage to finish them off. Even like 30++ people coming in and start shooting around, I was unharmed. I was not injured. I storm out from the entrance and ran out. It was a hallway with red carpet. The surrounding is similar to a 5 star hotel. I ran into a group of people which somehow I know there are smugglers. They wore formal suits. Some are armed. I start to shoot them as well. Then on the other side, is full of people with military dress. Again, somehow, I know there are the mercenaries. The gun fight was me against 2 group of people. I didn’t manage to get them all, I just trying to storm out and save my precious life.

I arrived to a hall. It was a huge hall. Like the hall in some hotel. On the second or maybe 3rd floor, well, not very sure, standing a beautiful girl in black. She was wearing some sort of clothes which is like…errmm…like swimming suit. But it was not a swimming suit. Some sort of espionage suit I guess. Somehow, it seems I know who she is. Her face was familiar to me...

To Be Continue...

Story about Vincent, Jokaar, and Joe Part II [CONCLUDE]

It is strange for people to know I am such person, but I don’t really care. As far as I am concern, if he did not cause any trouble, then it is fine. It was I who unconsciously created Jokaar. I need someone to talk to when I am down, depress, disappointed, sad. But so far, I can’t really find an ideal listener yet. Not to say you all are not a good listener, but not my ideal listener. I am a good listener myself. I can sit there all day long listening your story while I remain passive. I really can.

Jokaar is my ideal listener. Although he sometimes make me look like a fool, but I never care what other people view me. I am a strong believe in my own FREEWILL. As long as I did not interfere with your freewill, I will do what I like. After all, social environment make me to create Jokaar. Maybe some of you think I need to see a psychiatrist, but I can tell you I am fine. As I have said, Jokaar is just a mechanism to assist me when I am DDDS. But lately, I found out that when I am nervous, it will also be active. Haha…

If I am remember it correctly, he has remain passive since Oct till Dec. Until Dec, as you have read the Resurrection Part 1, he appeared again, more frequently. I think he knows that I need him. Thank you.

Ok, this chapter makes me crazy in your mind. Again, I don’t really care. Read on! :p.

When I arrived to UK, I still greet people with the name Vincent. I fell in loved with Vincent. I am obsesses with Yo-Yo before I arrived in UK. I will play yoyo anywhere in the street, anytime. Then my friend decided to call me Yo-Yo instead of Vincent. Then this Yo-Yo came in place. Well, it is still Vincent, just known as Yo-Yo.

Some of my friend in UK also knows about Jokaar. At first, they were shock, felt weird and stuff. But later on, it was just a crazy joking Vincent :p. No one cares liao. So I can freely interact with this friend of mine.

In the Uni, the lecturers will call me Joe, since Vincent is not my official name. I told them I am Vincent but they prefer to call me Joe. “Why get another name when you already have one?” said Cliff Brown, my Module Tutor. Fine. Still I prefer Vincent.

Until I worked in McDonalds, I am beginning to let go the name Vincent. There, they will call me Joe. This is because Joe is my official name. Everyone call me Joe. From here, I started to be obsessed with my original name. Joe. What a nice name which I stopped using it for a long time. When I was in Durham, I used the name Joe to book table. I called an ambulance with the name Joe. I called a cab with the name Joe. I told everyone my name is Joe. Only Henry, Adrian, John, Charis, and Eda still call me Vincent. I have told them to call me Joe from now on. Dunno if they can do it or not :p Well nvm.

Joe, I wanted to install a new personality into Joe. I have forgotten who Joe is. Joe is someone I have really put away when I was known as Vincent. I plan to used Joe as a new me. I will be myself back, a new me, the original me, Joe.

A beginning for Joe…

PS: Vincent will still be here. Jokaar as well. Just adding a new guy called Joe...or maybe merging Vincent and Jokaar into the original Joe? No one knows including me...perhaps God?

Story about Vincent, Jokaar, and Joe Part I

My name is Tan Joe Yew. A name given by my father on the day I was born. Well, I am not sure if he comes out this name long ago or what, well, that is not the case. Thus I am called as Ah Joe in Chinese. This name, carries a big hope. It was loosely translated as “Ancestor Pride”. I hope I can be one. Later on, those English educated will call me Joe or Joe Yew. Some even call me Joey.

When I was in form 2, I wanted an English name inform of my surname. I came out Steven, so I can call myself Steven Tan. Then the short form for Steven will be Steve. I liked it. But too bad, some Chinese educated people call it steam…rather then Steve. Furthermore, my uncle is also called Steven. So I dropped this name.

During form 3, my friend is taking order on making name tags. I am thinking of putting an English name on it rather than the plain old Tan Joe Yew. This name Vincent came out from my mind. It was from a Final Fantasy character called Vincent Valentine. I try to pronounce it, Vincent Tan…sound nice. So I decided my English name will be Vincent. Still I seldom used it infront of Chinese educated people because they will call it “Wansan” or God of Trouble which is loosely translated. So I will just tell them my name is Joe.

Vincent, this name I have fully utilized it when I went to APIIT. I told all my friends my name is Vincent. Later on, I tried to put my name in this way, Vincent Joe Yew Tan. Then later, Vincent Joe Y. Tan. Then Vincent “Joe” Tan. Joe seems to be my middle name jor. Yew is almost non existent.

In some of my imagination stories, I always associate my name Vincent with this surname MacLeod. I adapt this family name from a movie called Highlander. It was a Scottish name. When I pronounce it, Vincent MacLeod, it sounds good.

Chinese people have the habit to add Ah on most of the name they called. So, I am known as Ah Vincent. The name Joe, seems to be forgotten.

Jokaar, this name, this character, this personality, this fake entity, came out when I was Form 4. It was a fake entity I talk to. This name, maybe adapted from Joker, but indirectly, thus Jokaar. He is friendly, well, not too friendly. Well, who cares, he is me, I am him. Just I am in dominant where he is recessive, that is why you won’t really see him out. It just lived in my mind. A friend which I have no way of destroying it. Well, how can you destroy yourself?

Jokaar will only appeared in my mind when I am depress. This entity will be alive when I am feeling down, sad, disappointment. I talk to him, he responds. Although it is just a mind game in my head, but it responds. It seems it is a mechanism for me to handle depression. When I was ok, this entity just keeps quiet. But sometimes, I will just talk to him out of boredom. So, physically, I can stay alone by myself, but mentally I need someone to interact to…

TO BE CONTINUE…

Mission Durham

Mission Durham

Wake up by 8am. Well kinda early for me actually, after been drinking last night from 10pm till 1am. I took a shower and prepare myself. After that, I sat in front of my laptop and surf something while waiting for Adrian to get prepared.

Around 9pm, Adrian called me to go to find Henry and have breakfast in Cloude Gibb Hall. Hmm…abit too crappy jor. Well I just tell those things I felt important :p.

Me, Adrian, Henry, Eda, Charis and John walk from CGH to Central Station. We are taking a train to Durham. Durham is just nearby city. I went there before to attend a Kendo ( Japanese Fencing) class held by a Japanese master. It was just 30 minute driving time from Metrocentre. As for the train we took, it takes only around 20 min to reach Durham.

Well, haven’t introduced my friends. Henry and Adrian is a friend from APIIT. I knew Henry first when I was doing my diploma in DH APIIT. Then I knew Adrian in TPM APIIT when I was doing my Level 2 Degree. I knew John 1 year ago in UK. I met him when we were attending Tae Kwan Do class. He is from Hong Kong and doing Engineering course. I knew Charis during September. She is from Hong Kong as well and she is doing Accounting course. I knew Eda after introduced by Charis. She is from Hong Kong as well and doing the same course with Charis.

We arrived in Durham by 10.45am. We walked around the area nearby the train station. Then we went to a church and took some picture. Later we decide to explore the city center and we look for the road sign. Well, Durham isn’t really a big city compared to Newcastle.

The specialty of this place is the Cathedral and the Castle. Both of this structure is build next to each other. And the weird thing is, the Cathedral is larger compared to the Castle “=_=. We traveled to the Cathedral, it was really huge. But we did not enter. Well, I also dunno why, hehe. Well none of us here is Christian, maybe that is why no one has the urge to go and look inside. We took some picture from outside. Around 12.45pm, we have completed the mission.

Lunch time, we decide to have Pizza buffet over McDonald. First, Pizza buffet is cheaper compared to McD, second, I have enough of McD, I can have it almost everyday…I work there btw. When we went to Pizza Hut, it seems they dun have place for us to sit. The waitress told me there will be a table maybe around 15 min later. “May I get your name so that I can put you on the waiting list” she said. I told her “Joe”. Then we decide to walk around for 15 min and come back. Adrian asked me why you stop using the name “Vincent” instead of “Joe”. I answered him. But I decide to post my answer on the next update. It seems this name Vincent is almost forgotten, and gonna be replace by Joe…

Why traveling, we found a Chinese buffet which cost around the same price as the Pizza Buffet. So, we decide to have our lunch there. By 4pm, we left Durham by train. Mission End.

Resurrection Part 2 [Conclude]

Feb 2006

And now, the conclusion…

OO came back from Suzhou. By this time, I really don’t have the mood to see her anymore. I want to totally forget about her. I have lost it. It is my psychology problem, my ego. I couldn’t face the fact that she might be court by her classmate which lived in the same building. I decide I don’t want to get myself thinking of this sad scenario so I quit away from her.

She asked me to take care her hand phone when she went to Suzhou. When she came back a few days later, she messages me to get it back. I didn’t reply, I dunno why. I put all her stuff in Henry place and MSN her to get it from Henry when she is free. She just answered ok. No chatting were initiated by both party. By then I have never initiate any chat with her anymore. She also never initiate the chat after that until now which is March. I dunno why. I just got a feeling that we just ENDED everything.

Well, this is the loser who can’t accept the lost. Right now, I just want to live my live happily. Do the things I like to do. I am suxx in courting girls. I guess I am tired of doing that this time around. It always require me to think a lot of stuff. I prefer to rest my mind and enjoy my life. Don’t really consider starting any relationship with girls currently, feel so down after such event. Need time to recompose myself. I have already have a feeling that I might not get her during November, but I just ignore the feeling and proceed. Well, I always like to stick to my motto “One will never know it was trap until one have experience it”. So I decide to proceed. And now I couldn’t yet forgot about the trap I have been step on. END

I have been calling to some friends in Malaysia lately. Chatting :p. Well, my phone got almost endless credit, and I always called my Mom, Dad, and lil’ bros first before I called my friends, so my frens, no need to worry about my bills and ask me to call my family coz I have done it :p

March 2006

Went to Durham with Henry, Adrian, Charis, Eda, and John. Hmm, I will post this next time in full story :p

CONCLUDE

PS: I thought I can just maintain friends, but it seems I couldn’t. Me not gentleman…

Resurrection Part 1

Well, I was just about talking about making my blog look alive. And it died right after that...for atleast 5 month. Almost half a year. Now I decide to revive it again since I have finished my bachelor degree. Still, I need to go to work part time, so dun expects any miracle happen.

The past month…hmm a lot of things happen. Some happy, some unhappy, some neutral. Well, this is life. Let just summarize what happen.

Oct 2005

Halloween party in Northumbria Student Union party. Have kinda fun. Some unhappy things began to happen. But I was just being ignorant. Conclude :p

Nov 2005

It is almost the end of my studies. But still procrastinating. I blame no one but myself. Still blaming won’t help if I still don’t stop procrastinating. Learned a few new things. Still loved cooking dinner. The motivation was there. I hoped it last long. But well, I think I am not good to make it happen…hmm hahaha, no details actually :p

Dec 2005

All classes have fully attended. No more class. Now is project time and assignment time. I express my feelings to this OO, a cute girl lived next to me. No answer. But as far as I can see, the answer is most probably rejection. But I think she just don’t want to do that because it might hurt me and I just stay next to her. Nvm.

Went to Edinburgh, Scotland with my friends. Attendance were, Henry, Me, Adrian, Charis, John, Gigi, OO, Stella and Henry’s cousins and fren from Sunderland. A group of 20 people. We stayed there for 4 days. Quite fun actually. Edinburgh city is a very beautiful. I don’t know how to express it but when you stand on the ground of Edinburgh, you feel like you are in an ancient city of Scotland. The feel is very different compared to Newcastle.

Got the answer from my frens regarding OO. It seems I really anticipated the answer. It was the cruelest answer I got. Although it wasn’t coming out from her mouth, but she won’t consider me even she has no bf. I feel so down. I was still in Edinburgh. I couldn’t receive such answer. It was worse then rejection. I know some people even experience something awful then my situation, but still, I feel very down. On the last day in Edinburgh, in the morning, I have no mood to follow anyone to anywhere. Henry and Adrian understand my situation, thankz them. They wanted to accompany me to walk around the Edinburgh city. I told them I will be there in a minute. I asked them to go by themselves first and I will catch up. But they insist I have to go with them. So, without their knowing, I changed my pajamas and just went out without telling them. I wanted to be alone for sometime. I traveled the city alone. SMSed them that I wanted to clear my mind for a while.
After a few hours, I finally calmed down and try to find them. And I found them. Walk with them and have dinner. During supper, I finally realize that I shouldn’t take this too seriously and forget about it. I am fine by then. Went back to Newcastle by tomorrow morning.

It was snowing by day after tomorrow. Played snow with Gigi, Henry, Adrian and OO. Then they planed to go to Burberry Factory Outlet. Hmm, I forgot the story…so I just conclude December :p

Jan 2006

New year. I still have 16 days away from my project and exam. Rushing hour. Still harbor feeling for OO even I didn’t got an answer from her mouth. I just being stupid and still hope something might happen.

Project submitted. Thanks to Shan Shang and Ewilly for their prayers and spiritual support. Thanks to Sai Seng for your support in my project. Thankz to Steven Spielberg Wong for your support in my project as well. Thankz to Michael Lee for your support in my project also :p. Thankz to Michelle for your good luck wished ;). Thankz to OO for video recording your own self cheering for me. Thankz to all others who contributed to my project. Love ya all.

Sent OO to airport where she will return to Suzhou for Chinese New Year for 3 weeks. After that I went back and preparing to move my stuff to new house. My contract will be end by tomorrow. Packed all my stuff for around 6 hours.

Unloading my stuff in my new house. Cheaper then the one in Uni. But my room is the smallest, so I negotiate to pay less then others. And I succeeded. Tomorrow morning, I went to London with Henry and Adrian. It is a 4 days trip as well. London, a city which is totally different then Newcastle. People are a lot busier, more “lansi”. Newcastle people are more of like procrastinators. I noticed London women are a lot slim and fit compared to Newcastle. Maybe because of their rushy lifestyle. In Newcastle, you can see a lot of FAT women who like to show of their spare tires by wearing tank tops. I know I am being sarcastic :p.

Ate in London Chinatown every night. Cheaper compared to Newcastle Chinatown, maybe because they have too many restaurants to compete, that’s why. Then by the 5th day, we travel to Portsmouth to look for Henry sister Gigi.


Feb 2006

Stayed in Gigi house for 2 days. Went to Nike Factory Outlet. Those Nike really cheap, and I say REALLY cheap. Buy a winter jacket, a tracksuit, and a pair of shoe. Celebrate Chinese New Year in Gigi house by having steamboat :p.

Gigi, Emily, and Jessica, thanks for your hospitality ;). We went back to Newcastle. Prepared for my project presentation. Presented, now waiting for result. Please bless me with good result. Now, most of the time, I am working in McDonald. I am a kitchen crew. Actually I skipped some of this story. I worked here since Oct. I make McChicken Sandwich, McChicken BBQ, McChicken Premier, 4,6,9,20 Chicken Nuggets, Filet-O-Fish, Fish Fingers, Big Mac, McHamburger, McBacon Cheeseburger, McCheeseburger, McDouble Cheeseburger, McQuater Pounder, McDouble Quarter Pounder, McBacon Quarter Pounder, Deli Chili Chicken, Deli Beef, Deli Chicken Salad, Deli Tikka, Deli Vegi Melt, Deli Ham and Pepperoni, Deli Ham and Cheese, Regular Fries, Medium Fries, Large Fries…phew, actually 99% of the McDonald kitchen orders are already fully understood. Why I didn’t work in the cashier area? I well my math is 1+1=11, so I think I dun wan to bankrupt McDonald crew name Joe’s bank account. Kitchen area is much more fun then you think :p.

Work like hell to get money for my living and rent. Overspent liao. I suxx in managing finance…

To be continued…

PS: This is my blog, I decide to write it casually. Hope you can understand my writings: p