A Victim of NGS

Vincent and his “Nice Guy Syndrome”

Friday 26^th – It all begins here

At time around 2pm, I went down to basement to collect my bicycle. I plan to go JobCenterPlus to find other jobs since this kebab shop pay and shift abit suxx. When I was about to cycle out from the basement, 2 chinese girls walking to my opposite direction. Then one of them suddenly came to me and asked me.

Taiwanese Girl: Where you got the bicycle?

Vince: Well, do you know where Bykers?

TG: No.

Vince: Erm..Morrisons?

TG: Yea.

Vince: Ok, Morrisons will be at your left right, you go straight, keep on going, you will see the bicycle shop at your right.

TG: Erm…not very sure, can you bring me to there? Will that be a problem?

Vince: (What bring you to the shop? Why not wahahahaha). Err..sure..emm…when you are free?

TG: I am having holiday right now, but am I bothering you?

Vince: Nah, it alright.

TG: Here, I give you my number.

I gave her my phone and she begins to key in her number, from her expression, she seems to be not able to remember her number. Her friends left her a while ago when I was giving direction. She was trying to remember it and finally asked me to verify if it is correct. I counted if there is 11 numbers, I guess it should be correct…Then she asked how much is the bicycle and did I get the lock for free. I said I bargain it till I got a free lock. She asked me if I can bargain for her because she told me she is shy to do so. Then I told her I will sms her about the time and stuff. She said ok when we both parted.

From here, I keep thinking about her and lost my concentration on finding jobs as well. I know, I suxx…Then when I came back, I smsed her and said tomorrow we go at 1pm. But there were no reply…I keep on waiting. Then my phone rang, but I was disappointed it was not her…suxx…Later, an sms received…but not her…suxx…I didn’t call her because it will shows that I am desperate.

Saturday 27^th – It really begins

I still haven’t sleep around 3am. Not becoz of the girl but I just like to be a “night ghost”. My friend came back around 4am after work. We have some supper until 5am. Suddenly I wanted to write down one of my imaginative story and post it on my blog. Well, this is not related to that girl as well, I can assure you :p. Just suddenly I wanted to feel my main character feelings witnessing her lover were killed by his lover. I know it is abit sadistic but I can’t help it. Again, this is not related at all. Furthermore, my journey in UK which I called it Atlantis is also a story :p. I finished my story around 8am and I went to sleep. Around 9.45, I got a call. I woke up and pick the phone. But too bad, the phone went dead because it was low on battery. I thought it was called by Costa employment because the screen was displaying numbers, not the Taiwanese Girl name. I on my phone again and the number appeared again. When I answered, it went dead again. So, I went to borrow a charger from my friend. His door was not locked properly so I can just go in. He was sleeping but I am desperate for the job. They pay 5.5 pound for hour on day shift and 7 pound for night shift. When I was standing in front of my frens, he woke up and asked what I want. I told him I need a charger and he point to the desk where he keep it. I took it, thanked him and leaved.

I charged my phone for a few minute and on it again. I look for the last call. But 3350 system is kinda obsolete where it couldn’t register the last call before it went dead. So, no choice, I thought I have lost the job. I went back to sleep. Later around 10am, I got a sms. It was a voice mail. I listened the content. I was surprise it was from Yun(TG). She said her mobile phone have no credit and asked if I can give her a call. I was hesitating if I should call her(shy ma…). Still I give her a call.

Vince: Hi, Vincent here.

Yun: Hi Vincent, how are you? Sorry my phone is out of credit…

Vince: It alright, I thought you gave me the wrong number :p. Where are you now?

Yun: I am currently in the bicycle shop. There is a lot of bicycle here. I dun know which one to buy.

Vince: Oh, you found the shop already. Well, you need any help?

Yun: I think I will be fine. Thank you.

Vince: Alright then...bye…

Yun: Bye.

I went back to sleep. But I couldn’t sleep anymore…thinking about her jor…kena poison jor…I gave her a call again to check out on her.

Vince: Hi, Vincent here.

Yun: Hi Vincent.

Vince: How? Got the bicycle?

Yun: Yea. They ask me to come at 1pm to collect the bike.

Vince: Oh, you got the lock?

Yun: Well they included it for me, they are so nice.

Vince: So nice, I needed to bargain with them only I could get the lock. So, you are walking home with your friend?

Yun: Nope, I walk all the way here alone.

Vince: Alone? What about your friend?

Yun: I don’t have friends here. The one you saw yesterday are preparing for France trip. Now I am going to Morrisons, do you wanna come to Morrisons?

Vince: (What the hell? She is all alone? Of coz go la…wait for God to tell me meh?) Ok, I also need to resupply my food.

Yun: Ok meet you there around 5 minutes. Bye

Vince: Bye…(5 Min???Is she nuts or something…nah, can’t care much)

I rush to the kitchen and boil some water. Then I take a quick shower, but clean one :p. Then change my cloths, and took a pack of 3 in 1 coffee and mix it. After I finish consuming my coffee, I rush to the basement and get my bike. Cycle as fast as I can to Morrisons. The motivation to be with her is so high until I dun feel sleepy after just sleeping for 1 hour. When I reach there, I saw her with the cart. She wore pink sweater sort of cloth and a blue jeans with sandals and a hat which I dunno the proper name( some girlish hat…). We walk around the store, she mostly brought vegetable and fruits. No meat products were seen. We have some conversation while shopping. After we have checkout, she asked me how to get a bus home. I didn’t know because I seldom take bus. She asked the bus driver and finally she got one which will drop her at Stoddart Street. I told her that I will cycle back and wait her at the Stephenson building entrance.

I waited around 15 min, but she still haven’t arrived. Then I saw her walking all the way from the opposite road. I go there and help her to carry some stuff. I asked why the bus did not came to the building entrance. Well, it seems the bus driver misunderstood where she wanted to stop and that particular bus she took did not stop at Stoddart street. She was upset because the bus driver said her English was not understandable. Well, kinda scary when she is upset...I tried to cheer her up and help her to bring the stuff to her flat.

She asked me why they don’t straight away give the bicycle to her and have to wait till 1pm to collect it. I explained to her that they need to assemble it and the bicycle you saw is a display sample. Then she asked me again if I know any bus will go to Byker. I didn’t know and I offered her to cycle my bike to Byker.

Yun: Hmm, If I cycle your bike to Byker, and I will need to cycle 2 bike back to Stephenson?

Vince: Nah, I follow you. You cycle it and I will walk there.

Yun: You going to walk there? It is very far…

Vince: Nah, not really that far.

Yun: I think I can cycle my bike while holding you bike back to Stephenson.

Vince:…

Yun: What? You doubt my ability?

Vince: You need a lot of balance to do that.

Yun: I learn ballet in my country, my balancing is fine.

Vince:… Still, you are holding a bike while cycling your…

Yun: I can do it.(Kinda stubborn…)

Vince: Ok ok. I guess you better go at 2pm. If you go early, and they haven’t finish assembling it, you might need to wait.

Yun: Good idea. Then we meet at 2pm

Vince: Alright.

I got her msn while going back to my flat. At 2pm I called her and walked down to the entrance.

Vince: You go first, I will follow you.

Yun: I guess you might be getting your bike when I was half way back :p

Vince: Haha,

When she starts to cycle, I jog to Byker. I know a little short cut to reach Byker, well not that short but just a little nearer, but you have to go thru some forest-like park. I dunno how long I have jog, but I saw her just arrived to the bike shop :p. It was like 10 shops away, I stopped jogging and walk. Tired jor :p. She was surprised when I walk in to the shop.

Yun: Vincent, you arrived! You took bus?

Vince: Nope, didn’t I told you I don’t know the bus to Bykers…

Yun: You are so fast…

Vince: Well, I know the road to Byker is kinda steep, so I know you will cycle abit slower :p. So, I guess I will arrived around the same time like you did.

Yun: (laugh)

After we collected the bike, she said she wanted to go look around the indoor swimming pool nearby. I accompany her. Then we cycled home. When the lift stops at Level 2, she walks out and bit me farewell.

Nice Guy Syndrome analysis

In this case, I guess I have fallen to category 1 and 2 of NGS. The Yes Guy and the Good Guy. Maybe category 4 as well which is the Doormat Guy. I am doomed. I slept for only 1 hour and I still need to work at 8pm. The motivation from girls really drive me crazy…DOOMED.

Nice Guy Syndrome

Although this is a C&P work, but this is something I like to share. I believe I also fall to this category. This copyright belongs to Geminist from LowYat.Net forum member.

“All this while until recently, I have been hearing statements and complaints regarding why that nice guys never get the girl or why nice guys always ended up being an emergency number to the girl. Most of the time, the nice guys out there are complaining as in why each time they treat a girl nice, in the end the girl will end up saying “I prefer you as a friend” or similar things. However, I somehow can relate to their frustration regarding this matter as I used to be one of the people that fall in the nice guy categories. Having thoughts and thoughts after why and how can I suffer in my relationship with women regardless of how nice I am trying to be, I finally found the light at the end of the tunnel and these are some of the reasons why nice guy can’t get the girls the dreamt of. Personally, I have labeled the main cause of this problem as the Nice Guy Syndrome.

Why nice guy?

Most of the time, one of the main misconception guys have regarding getting a girl is that, being as nice as possible will get you the girl. Well, there is a little (really, it’s just little) truth behind this. However, most of the time, the outcome of being as nice as possible to a girl will just end a guy up being just friends. In the end, the nice guy will start to ponder upon what he has done wrong.

To make things simple, there is absolutely no wrong in being nice to the girl, in fact, I believe guys should treat girls with respect and not just view them as a sex object (blame it on the hormones though). However, the first common mistake guys make is that, they try to be nice to the girls in the very beginning.

Take for example a relatively beautiful girl, being beautiful, she must had a lot of compliments and a lot of guys trying to get near to her by being nice to her, complimenting on her beauty and others. Well, if you have been experiencing this for half or maybe a quarter of your life, you will definitely be bored by this. In addition, girls seem to be very sharp in their observation of a man’s body language and tones, therefore when a man is getting heads over heels for the girl, she can tell. Well, I believe even most people can tell when a man is making a fool out of themselves in front of a girl. Just take a night off the mamak stalls and visit a popular club, just sit and observe how man are behaving when their primal instincts spot a beautiful lady. You can obviously tell that the man is trying his very best to get the girls attention or phone number. This is where all the mistakes start.

Mr Nice Guy 1 – The Yes Guy
Have you ever noticed that when a man is trying to go after a girl, he doesn’t seem to give the girl a “no” for an answer. You can tell by calling him up by 2 am and tell him that you wanted to eat supper, my bet is that, he will say yes and get you the supper.

Mr Nice Guy 2 – The Good Guy
Imagine this, you were out with a group of friends, and suddenly the guy was teasing a girl about her new hair style, her cloth or anything about her, then suddenly, another guy will pop out and say, “Don’t worry, your cloth looks nice,” or “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault”. Well, this is generally the guy trying to play the good guy.

Mr Nice Guy 3 – The ATM Guy
This is yet another sad story, some of the guys out there believe that by providing the girl with things that she needs or things that she doesn’t need, she can win the girl’s heart. Well, in relative terms, yes he can, but somehow, their relationship involves cash more than heart as somehow, the guy had become a provider to the girl and as for the girl, the guy is her genie to make her wishes upon.

Mr Nice Guy 4 – The Doormat Guy
This is by far one of the worst case in the nice guy syndrome, some of the guys out there believe that by fulfilling all the wishes of the girl (cleaning her apartment, fetching her, buying her gifts, helping her every requests and etc), he can actually wins the girl’s heart. Well, reality check says that this is not in any way true. Most of the time, one of the most common response is that The Doormat Guy will only get this statement “I prefer you as my best friend” or “You are really a nice friend”.

Mr Nice Guy 5 – The Needy Guy
Lastly, this is also one of the main problems why nice guy don’t get girls. Most of the time, when a man falls for a woman, he will soon starts to behave in a clingy matter where he will look for the girl almost everyday and every minute and every second. He will leave message like, “I really wish to see you again, are you free tonight” and others. Well, this is not good because my failure told me that, the clingier or the closer you are trying to get to her, the more you are going to repel her away.

Generally, this is the 5 main type of the Nice Guy Syndrome. Somehow, we can’t blame the woman for *ahem* using these poor man due to the fact where, well, basically, these man offered themselves as sacrifice.

I was once a victim of the nice guy syndrome for many years, however, by reading more and more books or articles, I found out 3 basic ways that may actually increase my chances with woman.

1) Do not, I repeat myself, DO NOT ever attempt to be nice all the time. Nice is general term, to be more specific, nice is being divided into two categories which is nice as in chivalry and nice as in loser. In all those movies, we always see the man protecting the woman, this is not implying that woman are weaker, it is just that the fact of “The man must protect the woman” had been implemented in our mind since we were born. The main thing about chivalry is that the man will open the door for a woman, pull out her seats, offers her a life home and others. On the other hand, the latter nice guy will try to be nice because he is afraid that he might upset the girl, therefore, whenever there is any request/s, the man will try his best to cope with the requests. This is definitely something worth NOT doing at any cost.

2) Another problem of nice guy is that, nice guys are boring. I believe most of us may agree upon this. Have you ever come across a guy who doesn’t say anything even though you are teasing him, or the guy who only constantly tell you how good or how stunning you are. Well, in the short term, this may seem pleasing to the girl as it reinforces the girl’s self image. However, if the girl has been hearing all these compliments since she started getting her attention, don’t you think it is boring then?

3) Do not afraid to have fun with the woman. Somehow, woman is very sensitive in words, body languages and tones. Therefore, they can tell obviously whether a man is lying or joking. Therefore, stop being afraid and start having a little spark in your conversation. Instead of saying too much good things like “You are really pretty” or “You are the greatest woman I have ever seen”, try adding some creativity into your everyday conversation. Hear are some of the example I have used in my conversation. When a girl calls me by tapping in the hand, the shoulder or anywhere else, the first thing I will do is not to answer her but to give her a shocking look followed by telling her in a serious manner “Ah, why are you so desperate that you actually harassed me sexually?”. This may seem to be a shocking reply, but somehow, it magically makes the girls laughed. After some thinking, I believe that this made the girl smile because in the very first place, the girl can tell that this is just a joke.

4) Lastly, do not be overly clingy to a girl. I understand that when we are struck by love, we wish to see her every now and then, however, please refrain yourself from doing so. This is because you’ll be portraying to her that you are needy and clingy as you do not have a life yourself. When you fall for a woman, the best way to avoid making mistake is that, stop calling up when you have nothing better to say (I believe most of us had experience how awkward it is when you have nothing better to say on the phone, and YET, you do not want to let go of the phone), stop acting clingy and needy and most importantly, continue to hang out with your friends. Somehow, when a guy is acting needy and clings to one girl, he will repel the girl away, on the other hand, when the guy doesn’t clings to her and has many friends, this actually might show that he is a hot catch and most importantly, he is interesting. “

Author: Geminist of Low Yat.NET forummer link