Prince of Dali: The Evil Within

Prince of Dali: The Evil Within

The original title was Prince of Persia: The Warrior Within. It was a famous game 2 years back. It talks about a Persian prince who is trying to find a way to change his destiny by changing the timeline thru supernatural method. I used this title to represent my scenario, so I change from Persia to Dali. The Kingdom of Dali is located around the southern part of China. It reins around 937 to 1257 AD. Why Dali? Well, it is just a random name which I know personally, and maybe it was a Buddhist Kingdom and so on. Well, what I am trying to do is not changing the timeline thru supernatural method, I just wanna accept my destiny while my evil side is rising.

I once met a girl I really, really liked when I was in UK. She was from Suzhou and 3 years my junior. She lived in the same flat with me. Let’s call her YY. We lived in the same flat for 5 month. In between, I develop feelings for her. I began to forget my main objective in UK. All I think is having fun, how to please her, how to interact with her, and taking care of her. I began to really into cooking after I met her. Although I know a few skills before I arrived, but my passion for cooking is because of her. Most of the time, I will cook her dinner, or desert, or lunch. Since she speaks mandarin all the time, which is an obstacle for me since I dun really speak mandarin, I learn. I brought a book on learning mandarin, well it was a basic book which teaches basic language.

In a few weeks time, my mandarin improve dramatically by chatting with her, watching mandarin movie, learn from the book, asking friends, interacting, and etc. Life was very beautiful for me during that moment. Although I have not reach bf-gf kinda relationship, but I am happy and finding ways to reach there. Half way thru there, problem arises. Interacting with her is a little dull. We do not really have topic in common. She dun elaborate much as well. Sometimes, when she speaks fast enough, I lost track. Asking her to explain, sickening her. Although I am patience with it, but I think she is not.

Day by day pass by, I really have nothing to talk to her. It was all routine chat like “Have you eaten?”, “Going where?”, “Slept?”, and etc. Nothings new. My evil began to rise. The evil side starts to demotivate me by telling me that I am NOT the One. All sorts of demotivating scenario are displayed into my mind. I had once decided to stop everything. Not because I hate her or anything, just that I afraid I will lose it when I am face with failure. I once stop seeing her for 3 to 4 days. I went to sleep at my friends place. Normally I will sms her to ask how she is doing when I was working, but I ceased it. For 4 days, I finally gave up and smsed her if she want me to buy any dinner for her. We end up having dinner together.

On the 4^th month, I finally build up the courage to tell her that I loved her. But I was rejected with silent. It was very awkward. Some of my friends, which are her friends as well, helped me from behind. But YY told them that I was not the One. The message was delivered thru my friends. The most heartbroken word was, “Although I have no bf, I won’t take him as my bf”. The interpretation on my evil mind said “Get real dawg, you are the worse, stop dreaming dawg”. I was totally down. During the down times, my evil mind helped me by encouraging me do find a way to release the tension, and I did it. Luckily, I still get my honours degree.

On the 5^th month, I moved. Not because of her but my contract ended. For me, it was a better way to escape. I lost contact with her for almost 4 months. From that point on, my evil side began to manifest me. I stopped treating people extremely good. I lost my passion for cooking, as well as photographing which I develop when I met YY. There was also an incident where I lost my trust to a good friend. I have trusted him, but he betrayed me and used me like a tool. From this point on, my interaction began to be insincere.

Any new people or old friends I met, I won’t be fully truthful to them, or maybe even manipulate them unconsciously. There was no guilt within me. But luckily anything I do wasn’t really serious where I have to thank Buddha for watching me. I met someone, I finally seen something different. I began to feel guilt on the action I did. It was fate that I have to meet WW, who let me experience something I have never experience by in my life. It was WW who let me to rediscover myself. The evil within begin to suppressed itself.

I have to thank to WW and all others who have helped me to suppress my evil, either consciously or unconsciously. I also need to apologize to anyone who I have ill treated consciously or unconsciously. Although this evil is suppress, but it had change me. While writing this, I felt that I am…nah, nvm, it is better that something is left untold. Thank You for reading.